Nowadays there’s a lot that goes into verifying clients and making sure they’re sound – the references, the LinkedIn checks, the collecting of official docs (for those who ask for it) – but at the end of the day, the decision whether to meet a client and to make him a valued regular is based mainly on gut instinct and observing subtle signs from our interactions.

Through talking with other providers and my own observations, I’ve created a type of blue-print for ensuring you leave the best possible impression with a new provider. Although it’s based largely on my own experiences, I’m confident that these tips will help you get off on the right foot when meeting someone for the first time and can make the difference between a good encounter and an exceptional one!

1. Always reach out with a warm and friendly text or email. An email that addresses me by name, gives some background details about yourself (age, where you’re from, what you do for work) and finishes with a “I’d love to meet with you” goes such a long way and ensures you will get a quicker response. There is something about “Hi, are you available this weekend for an outcall?” that feels too detached and anonymous. Sometimes I respond to these messages and sometimes I don’t. On the occasions that I’ve followed through with a date, they are almost always less enjoyable than dates that begin with a warm and friendly email.

• Limit texts to setting up an appointment, even if you’ve met the provider before and have rapport.  To succeed in this industry requires some level of compartmentalization. When I’m off the clock I am fully immersed in my own life and use time with my boyfriend and friends to recharge. I completely understand wanting to text a provider to say hello – especially when you’ve built a connection – but it can interrupt this crucial downtime and make switching off very difficult. When you have the impulse to catch up, your provider will appreciate you saving it for when you’re in person and you have her full and undivided attention.

• Be consistent in your communication and planning up to the appointment. Most of my clients are Americans who are visiting London on business. We often schedule a few weeks in advance and I accept that there is a relatively high probability that our plans could change or cancel, which adds a lot of unpredictability to my schedule.I can be confident that an appointment is going ahead if (1) the client clearly commits to a date, time and place early on; (2) he checks in with me to reconfirm a few days before we’re due to meet; (3) he lets me know that he’s arrived in London and that we’re all set to go ahead with our date. It might be overkill, but I’ll also send an email to reconfirm the morning of. I know some providers are not keen on a lot of communication before an appointment, but it’s very important to me. If a client tells me he’ll come back to me on Tuesday to confirm our plans and doesn’t email me until Thursday, this is a clear sign that he’s not committed and will likely cancel later. And while cancellations are inevitable, giving as much notice as possible is hugely important to a provider. It shows consideration for my schedule and gives me the opportunity to fill the slot so that I can keep a steady income.

• “Dress in whatever you feel most comfortable”. Any client who tells me this before we meet has already shown himself to be a potential favorite. There’s nothing wrong with an outfit request – I get them all the time and will gladly oblige – but there is something about feeling like I don’t need to dress to impress that immediately puts me at ease. Having talked to other providers, I know this is something they greatly appreciate too.

• Refrain from asking personal details, including her real name or home address. I give all new providers the same advice: if a client asks for your personal name early on, run for the hills. In all my years of working, this is the one action that I can confidently say screams “problem client” and guarantees further boundary violations later on. Some men may also ask very specific questions in a first or second meet (“which college did you go to?”) or request a home address to send a gift. Be mindful of how much information you’re asking of a provider and whether you might be overstepping any boundaries with your requests. Let her volunteer this kind of information when she feels ready to.

• Small, thoughtful gestures go a very long way. I know clients can often feel there is the expectation to bring a gift to an encounter, especially if it’s the first time meeting the provider. Let me assure you – the vast majority of men do not bring gifts and I’m never disappointed by that! However, over the years I’ve seen clients make small gestures that I’ve really appreciated. For example, sometimes a client will tell me he’s on the way to my incall and offer to pick me up a coffee (usually I’m caffeinated, but this happened on a very cold Chicago morning when I didn’t have the courage to make my usual coffee run!) More recently while on tour, I scheduled a client fairly last minute for a 12-2pm incall at a hotel. He very kindly showed up with lunch and snacks for me (given the lack of food options near where I was staying, I had been prepared to starve until dinnertime).

• If you have the time, send a follow up thank you email. Most of my clients drop me a little note after our session to let me know that they appreciated my time and would like to see me again. Although I can usually tell that the session has gone well, it’s still nice to receive the positive feedback. It means I’m more confident in reaching out to you in the future when I’m in your city to suggest that we meet again!

• Keep an eye on her rates and adjust accordingly. If you have a regular provider and she increases her rates it can be difficult to know whether you’re grandfathered into her old rate or should match her current rate for future appointments. Equally, it can be awkward to ask. I ultimately think it’s the provider’s responsibility to inform you of any rate changes but it can be a difficult conversation for us to have too, especially if it’s with a valued regular. Recently it happened that I saw a regular here in London and when I opened the envelope after our session, I found that he matched my current rate without any discussion about my recent rate increase. I know not everyone can afford rate increases – especially large ones – but if you’re able to afford your provider’s new rates and feel she’s worth it, matching her current rates without needing to be asked is the best way to express to her that she’s valued.