I've always loved being a GFE provider...
It’s what comes most naturally to me and where I feel I really shine. I love it so much in fact that it never crossed my mind that I would ever change or expand my offer – that is until earlier this year.
When I re-entered the industry in 2024, I kept my rate fairly low as I established myself in the UK market. This lower rate led to an influx of bookings from younger clients, typically under 35. The experiences I had with these men ultimately served as the inspiration for my sex coaching offer.
It’s no secret that many young people are approaching sex differently…and not necessarily in a good way
When I compare my 25-35 year old clients today with those I saw ten years ago, the difference is night and day.
Unfortunately, the majority of my experiences with under 35s today have been unpleasant and degrading.
Often they include:
- Choking and slapping me in the face without asking
- Aggressive commands during sex (“go over there and bend over”, “get on your knees and look at me”)
- Physically uncomfortable requests (like fisting)
- Being disrespectful or ignoring my stated boundaries.
Concerned with what I was seeing, I reached out to other providers. I realized then that my experiences were simply par for the course.
Almost every escort I spoke to said they had noticed the same trend in their younger clients and were worried about it. Their advice to me (and the obvious answer) was to blanket ban all under-35s, but this didn’t sit right with me.
I’ve always been the type of person who, when confronted with a problem, likes to fix it. I could tell most of these clients were not aware of where they were going wrong. And how could they know if no one told them?
I knew that feedback was critical if things were to change.
With this on my mind, I asked my best friends over coffee one day whether they ever give men feedback in bed.
Most were adamant that they do not. They felt a man should have sufficient self-awareness to know what to do and what not to do in bed. Surely any man should know that it’s never appropriate to hit someone in the face without asking! Sigh…I thought so too.
Some said they find it intimidating to speak up in the moment when sex is already underway. I have to admit that I find this difficult too, at least in situations where I’m not coaching.
I never want to hurt a man’s ego and I also don’t want to spoil the mood or sound fussy. I’m sure many women feel the same way.
It seems we might be stuck in a vicious cycle: men are regurgitating what they see in porn, leading to degrading and unpleasant experiences for women. Women in turn don’t have the confidence to voice what they want and need or to express how this kind of sex makes them feel. Instead, they ghost and leave the guy wondering where he went wrong.
My hope with sex coaching is to break this cycle. I want to create a space where men can get the feedback they need to be the partner women deserve.
When I first added coaching to my website, I kept my expectations low.
I figured maybe a handful of clients would take me up on coaching, if any at all. Happily, it turns out I was very wrong.
There has been huge demand for coaching appointments, so much so that coaching now makes up 50% of all new bookings. This tells me I’ve definitely hit on a real, growing need.
It’s really encouraging to see that men actually do want to be better and I can’t wait to help them get there!
The Birth of Zoë