Lately I catch myself more and more often reminiscing about the “good old days” of escorting. I think now that I’m in my 30s I’ve officially crossed over into old fart territory and that means it’s my duty now to complain and tut-tut at things. Needless to say, I’m taking my new responsibility very seriously.
My latest gripe? I learned recently that providers are starting to charge clients for references. Yes, you heard that correctly – you now need to bribe providers to confirm to other escorts that you are in fact safe, somewhat decent and not too smelly.
I sometimes wonder if the escorting industry is following in the steps of airline industry, which has mastered the art of nickel-and-diming its customers while also managing to provide an increasingly worse service. What might soon follow? A CPE (cost per email), an ID processing fee, a condom disposal surcharge?! God only knows.
When my prospective client first made me aware that a provider was charging him for a reference, I honestly thought he was having me on. But then I decided to do some in-depth research (i.e. I bitched about it on reddit) and I learned very quickly that this is definitely not a one-off and might even be a new industry-wide trend! The things you miss when you shun social media…
I have always loved the natural camaraderie that exists between providers – especially when it comes to matters of safety – but it looks like this is starting to disappear. Among the responses to my reddit post:
- I give references freely BUT have started to get the word out to my clients that I will provide them a reference only if they left a tip on our date, they have seen me twice, or they buy something off my Throne Wishlist. (Doesn’t sound very free to me)
- I charge $25 as a tip (I think this person might need to be informed of the difference between a tip and a fee)
- My belief is that references are to keep other ladies safe. Yet, I found myself feeling insulted that a guy who paid $400 for a 1H date and never bothered to leave a tip or rebook me again is asking me to spend time providing 2 or 3 references to escorts he plans to see who have rates of $700 or $1000 per hour!
- Economic slowdown has made business slow for a lot of us. I’ve had days where my phone is silent EXCEPT for emails and texts from other providers asking me to provide a reference. As I sit waiting for client inquiries, it’s annoying to know my prior clients are not patronizing me yet expecting me to work for FREE to help them spend their money on another woman.
My first thought when reading these comments was “those greedy bitches…”. But then I began to think about it more and realized that it’s probably not that simple.
This industry can be tough on the ego. When business is good, escorting can be extremely validating. I will never get tired of the little buzz I get when a new client reaches out for the first time (and it’s even better when they reach out for the second time). But equally, when work is quiet for you and seemingly no one else, it’s very easy to feel unappreciated and unwanted.
Do I think it’s right to charge clients extra fees because of a bruised ego? Absolutely not. I really believe that providers have a moral duty to help each other stay safe. It is also a terrible business practice to burn bridges with a client over a measly $100 fee.
But let’s accept that the industry will always be changing – sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. If you are someone who relies on references for verification, I think there are some things worth bearing in mind when you ask for one:
- Start with providers you’ve seen 2+ times
- Ask providers who you still see regularly
- Ask providers who have a similar rate to the one you’d like to see
- If you’ve only seen the provider once and need a reference, start your email with a compliment about your last session and let her know that you’ll likely be reaching out in the future to book another appointment
Most importantly, do not pay the fee! We don’t negotiate with terrorists!
And in case it’s not already abundantly clear, please know that if we’ve met before you are always welcome to use me as a reference. You don’t need to ask me in advance and you can share my details as often as you need. It only takes a minute for me to write a reference so it will never be any trouble!
The Hidden Cost of Decency
Charging for client references is becoming the new normal...
Lately I catch myself more and more often reminiscing about the “good old days” of escorting. I think now that I’m in my 30s I’ve officially crossed over into old fart territory and that means it’s my duty now to complain and tut-tut at things. Needless to say, I’m taking my new responsibility very seriously.
My latest gripe? I learned recently that providers are starting to charge clients for references. Yes, you heard that correctly – you now need to bribe providers to confirm to other escorts that you are in fact safe, somewhat decent and not too smelly.
I sometimes wonder if the escorting industry is following in the steps of airline industry, which has mastered the art of nickel-and-diming its customers while also managing to provide an increasingly worse service. What might soon follow? A CPE (cost per email), an ID processing fee, a condom disposal surcharge?! God only knows.
When my prospective client first made me aware that a provider was charging him for a reference, I honestly thought he was having me on. But then I decided to do some in-depth research (i.e. I bitched about it on reddit) and I learned very quickly that this is definitely not a one-off and might even be a new industry-wide trend! The things you miss when you shun social media…
I have always loved the natural camaraderie that exists between providers – especially when it comes to matters of safety – but it looks like this is starting to disappear. Among the responses to my reddit post:
My first thought when reading these comments was “those greedy bitches…”. But then I began to think about it more and realized that it’s probably not that simple.
This industry can be tough on the ego. When business is good, escorting can be extremely validating. I will never get tired of the little buzz I get when a new client reaches out for the first time (and it’s even better when they reach out for the second time). But equally, when work is quiet for you and seemingly no one else, it’s very easy to feel unappreciated and unwanted.
Do I think it’s right to charge clients extra fees because of a bruised ego? Absolutely not. I really believe that providers have a moral duty to help each other stay safe. It is also a terrible business practice to burn bridges with a client over a measly $100 fee.
But let’s accept that the industry will always be changing – sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. If you are someone who relies on references for verification, I think there are some things worth bearing in mind when you ask for one:
Most importantly, do not pay the fee! We don’t negotiate with terrorists!
And in case it’s not already abundantly clear, please know that if we’ve met before you are always welcome to use me as a reference. You don’t need to ask me in advance and you can share my details as often as you need. It only takes a minute for me to write a reference so it will never be any trouble!
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